You remember when portraying bad manners meant just greeting an elderly person with the left hand or talking whilst eating? Today, the scope of bad manners has broadened. With all our mobile devices (whether i-Pad, ‘i-Yam’ or China branded Android phones and tablets), we can be rude anywhere at anytime. Rude cell-phone users are anywhere that there’s a cell phone signal.
My bet is that you’ll agree that some of these mobile mis-steps make you want to slap the perpetrators upside the head. But the truth is that we are all guilty in one way or the other of such rude cell phone manners. The paradox is that it is also rude to criticize someone’s behaviour. However if such behaviour gets worse, the person’s mind must be drawn to the rudeness of his attitude. Below is how to practice cell phone etiquette and a list of some of the bad mobile phone manners we must avoid.
The basic principle of phone etiquette is that it’s not other people’s responsibility to tolerate your mobile phone use; it is your responsibility to use your mobile phone inoffensively. Ignore this principle and you’re sure to be rude! Most people give much of their concentration to their mobile phones that they seem to be insensitive to the physical environment when much of our attention is needed to perform our daily tasks and duties which demand a limitation to our mobile phone use. Following directly from the basic principle, you have to bear with others in social gatherings by putting your phone off or at least, on silent mode. Don’t get this wrong: it’s probably not that people around are trying to be condescending, hassle you or restrict your God-given freedom of expression but there are tangible reasons for that. We live in a world where we daily mingle with people from different cultures, preferences (likes and dislikes) as well as physiological conditions hence it is likely that our actions in some ways can hurt people we don’t even take notice of. For instance, people with temporal lobe epilepsy may find that certain sounds trigger seizures and some people have neuro-sensory issues that makes extraneous noise to be a severe difficulty rather than a mild annoyance. Examples of the places to avoid using our mobile phones actively are: bathrooms, church premises, workplaces, lectures, elevators, hospitals, banking halls, restaurants, auditoriums, wedding ceremonies, parties, movie theatres, conference centers, shopping malls and market places, among others.
Let’s learn to text. When it’s inappropriate to talk in a place, it is acceptable to send and receive text messages. In such cases, the following rules of texting ethics must be kept in mind:
1. Use the vibrate feature instead of an audible or funny text alert.
2. Only text when you’re standing still or sitting and out of anyone’s way.
3. Don’t text while you walk, drive or do any other thing that requires you to be attentive such as cooking, swimming or sewing. Multi-tasking puts your life or others’ in danger.
4. Don’t text while at a meeting or conference. You should give the speaker your undivided attention.
5. Never send incomplete messages with ambiguity, one with sexual overtones or one that could be misconstrued as a threat or insult. It is very hard to convey tones and sarcasm in texting and email, so realize that certain things may come across as sounding unusual or offensive.
6. Avoid retexting people when previous messages you’ve sent to them have not been read unless very necessary. This prevents people from thinking that you’re disturbing them.
7. On the other side, avoid the habit of not reading or replying people’s texts for a long period when you and they clearly know that you’ve received their messages. This will send a message to them that you’re ignoring them or they’re simply unimportant to you. After all, what is the use of replying an message that needed urgent reply or action days later?
8. Avoid unnecessary capitalization of all the texts in your message since it relays a tone of aggresion.
With phone call ethics, it is prudent to stay away from others while talking on the phone and don’t speak too loudly. As a few people will be curious to know what you are talking about, most people don’t want to hear what you’re screaming about. In fact, according to researchers at Connel University’s publication in Los Angeles Times, hearing half of someone’s conversation distracts people from their activities and can lower their cognitive ability.
For the same reasons and much more for security reasons, avoid making private calls in public places such as in buses. Why will you even want to make business calls to the hearing of everyone? Never also put your phone call on loud speaker in public. I get shocked and annoyed when I see educated people acting unprofessionally. I once sat in a bus where a marriage counselor and sex therapist was openly counseling a married woman about sex on phone. It was rather bad of her to do that.
No matter how urgent a call is, if the conversation is a classified one, ignore the call when you are in a public place and call back later! It’s simple! Private means private! Never ignore phone call privacy. It is also rude and illegal to hack people’s phone passwords or use their phones to make calls, read their messages or watch their photos without their prior approval or consent.
In the same way, avoid listening to music or watching videos in an open place with the volume so high. No one is stoping you from enjoying your favourite music for an earphone could be used instead. We complain daily of air, land and water pollution but we’re ignorant of audio pollution. Be cognizant that others around you don’t appreciate the sounds emanating from your phone or tablet.
Before you use your mobile device to take photos or video of your friend who is drooling in sleep, naked in the bathroom or drunk and sharing on social media, remember the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
On social media, not everyone especially those you don’t really know likes to be tagged in photos (even flattering ones) so try asking their permission before you do so. Same applies to making people’s picture your profile pictures on Whatsapp. Of course, except you want to do this as a birthday surprise or wish.
When on a phone call with someone, avoid being distracted by speaking with others around you. This makes the phone call receiver look unimportant. Never also try shushing person-to-person conversations near you while you’re on phone. This will make them angry with you since it is a public place meant for everyone and not for only you hence if you find a call private, why not make it in a private place?
Bad phone manners have cost many relationships. Our phones seem to send us to a realm farther from our loved ones (family, friends and lovers) as we get plugged to the digital realm and sent much more closer to people he hardly know. One thing you should avoid doing is using your phone actively whilst you have a visitor, friend or anyone close with you. The physical world can be interesting if you can stash you device away long enough to notice it.
Let’s also learn to be patient when talking on phone so as to communicate effectively to build better relationships.
There are lots to talk about but all I want to say is that when we are mindful of the above listed etiquette, we would enjoy the best of our mobile devices without being rude to others. You’ve made this part of this year’s resolutions, right? Your phone can be a wealth than a liability!
Regards,
Francis Aheto,
Undergraduate Student.
Department of Food Science and Technology,
KNUST- Kumasi
